Are you a Workaholic: Part 2 Emailaholic?

By: Carisa Holmes-Peters

In my June Blog, I shared my daily battle with workaholism. As I voiced in that blog it is an addiction that I will need to remain committed to overcoming. The same level of commitment that you would need to curb any addiction. The first part of my journey was to recognize the issue and why it is of concern. Secondly, I focused on breaking down why I behave the way I do. What is the cause at its core? Again, you can’t move forward unless you understand where you have been. 

So, to continue my journey, I am taking the next step which is to scrutinize the use of my time. To create intention and purpose with each hour of every day. This is not something that I focused on enough in the past which fed my work addiction. I would make myself available for anyone, anytime despite what it would do to my workload or my mental capacity. I would convince myself that everything was high on the list of importance and so each day I would work as much as I could during the day and then work more at night to catch back up. 

And as I shared in part 1 of this blog topic, I would put family, friends, and hobbies at the bottom of the list. They would get what was left of my time and energy.

Email: Friend or Foe?

Looking into the future, email is expected to only increase in importance. What will this mean for those like me who are addicted to checking and clearing their email? I have read all the tips, don’t leave your email open, don’t read your email as the first task of the day, only check it at set times of the day, stop checking it at a set time at the end of each day…on and on and on. 

So, I recognized that I needed an overhaul with how I check my email. I have noticed that I have a challenge with when and where to check my email. You may be thinking oh sure don’t we all do that sometimes? Well, I suppose I like to do things big…so when I say I check email at strange times and places, I do mean it! 

This looks like a perfect place to check my email!

I will be open and share how I realized my email habits had gotten bad enough that I need to do something about it. 

Picture this, I am on vacation out of state with my family. My husband and I get up at sunrise each day and start the day with a bike ride together. We visit our favorite spots and explore new areas. Precious time together uninterrupted with my spouse, and with beautiful scenery all around us. What more could I ask for? Right?

Well, during this particular ride, we are stopped at a bridge over the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway while the swing bridge allows a boat to pass through. This process takes a little bit of time, let’s say 5-7 minutes depending on which direction of traffic gets to pass over first. Ok, so my husband and I are stopped on our bicycles in a line of traffic. What happened next just sort of surprised me. I reached for my phone out of my back pocket and immediately started checking email. Swiping frantically the emails that were trash and debating if I could send a quick reply to another before we had to start moving again. Keep in mind, I AM ON A BICYCLE and there are cars behind me that would not appreciate me holding up traffic. I consider myself a safe and aware cyclist, but apparently, when it comes to an email I throw all that aside! 

A few minutes later I look at my husband who gives me that look like I know what you are up to. At that moment I had the clarity to say to myself….what are you doing? You are in a beautiful place with your #1 riding partner/husband on a 2-hour ride. Why in the world are you checking your email? It’s not like you didn’t just check it as soon as you woke up that morning! I snapped this picture at that moment, I wish I could say I did that as a reminder of the realization I just had, but no, I am sure I did it to make it appear like I only had my phone out to take a picture! I should know by now he is not buying it!

Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal. But it is because it is an underlying issue that creeps up in daily life. 

It must have just taken this moment of being in a different place to cause me to pause. What should I have been doing while waiting for the bridge to open? Let’s see….there are so many better options. Take a drink of water, take a bite of food, smile at my #1 riding partner/husband. Say hello to the husband and wife on the scooters in front of us. Watch the bridge swing to the side to let the boat through. Think about the beauty that is just over this bridge that we are going to get to enjoy in just a few short minutes. Yes, there were many other options. But somehow I have allowed myself to think that email can’t wait and that I am not being enough if I check in a few hours later than I normally might. 

There is ALWAYS a better way.

Just because this is how we have always done something and we get into the routine, does not mean it is good for us. 

There is always a better way to do something, especially when we become aware that the way we are doing it is not good for us. It takes more strength to change those habits than keep doing it the same way. Yes, emails can be important, but so is family time, and being present in the moment when you are supposed to be taking a mental rest! What I have found is that my way is not the most productive or responsive. Or the best for mental rest and family time. There is always a better way if I just start with recognizing there is an issue. 

There are so many resources that share tips for productivity with email and not letting it run your life. You just have to educate yourself and then commit to some new habits. Go ahead and document the process with a quick journal note each day or week. Stick with it and go back to evaluate that journey and recognize are you in a better place now than before? Or do you still have more work to do?

Email sounds so basic and simple, doesn’t it? But wow, can it become a master to some of us. When you don’t have a process for email, it runs you. I can’t count the number of times that I read an email and it changed my mood or behavior at the moment and it didn’t need to be that way. 

The effort will be worth it!

I know that the effort I put in will be well worth it. I know it because I am on the journey to improve and I can see the positive outcomes of each of the changes I have made already. Will I ever stop to read my email on a bike ride again, nope. I have this picture to remind myself of that day and the epiphany I had. I MUST REMAIN IN THE PRESENT MOMENT! I deserve it, my family deserves it. People around me I don’t even know deserve it. 

P.S. An example of the beauty that awaited just over this bridge. That is the joy I should have been anticipating.

“The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.”

– Abraham Maslow

Carisa Holmes has 25+ years of experience in leadership and office culture. She is currently an Owner and Administrator of Holmes Marketing Services. In her current role, she focuses mostly on Human Relations, Client Experience, and Office Culture. If you were to ask Carisa what her favorite component of her current position is, she would say, “I absolutely love working with talented people; I enjoy coaching and mentoring and watching them grow and evolve.” To talk to Carisa more about this topic, please leave a topic, or visit her bio page.